One of my great friends, Leon Quan, challenged me with this, "Shaun, find your voice Man! Don't attempt, do it. No one wants to pay for someone to come in and "attempt" to be successful. I'm just playin with u Bro...sorta...no really dude, Grow a pair Dawg! Ur a Bada$$- Don't forget it, ur Dad'd say it too."
What was captivating, is Leon said this shortly after I had sent out a tweet about it being my father's 59th birthday who had died 10 years prior, it challenged me to think.
I was challenged...
So what would my dad say about me now? How would my dad respond to my efforts, achievements, failures, growth? I was challenged that day to LIVE and stop attempting.
I will tell you philosophically what I meant when I said I was attempting. See, since childhood, as a kid who had a very abusive father, whom had immeasurable and unpredictable expectations, I never knew how to please him. My life clinically was an attempt after attempt to impress and make my father 'proud', although failing a majority of the time. I became performance-driven instead of value-driven. The same expectations that I lived under my father transcended to people around me, and I found myself living "up to" other peoples expectations of me, always attempting. My life was marked with failure if I let someone down. I have never truly lived to myself or for myself, but always for the recognition of making someone else happy and fulfilled. Many times in my life I was chasing a moving finish line, like a donkey with a carrot in front of me... just merely attempting.
NO MORE! Now, I no longer attempt, I LIVE. I confused arrogance with confidence and thought to be confident with something or confident in something meant I was being arrogant. We have to realize that confidence and competence on their own is in no way arrogant. Arrogance stems from a cancerous pride in the heart that places one's being above someone else for personal gain. I will live and lead with humility, but confident in the skills, knowledge, and aggression God has given me!
Do you find yourself Attempting or Living?
If attempting, what can you change to begin LIVING?
Leave a comment below!